The Vietnam War took place in Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia from 1959 to 1975. The war was fought between communist North Vietnam and the government of South Vietnam, which was supported by the United States. The United States entered the war to prevent the communist takeover of South Vietnam, which was part of the larger strategy of containment. In Tim O’Brien’s memoir, “If I Die in a Combat Zone,” he describes how he along with many other American’s were drafted to fight in the Vietnam War. Most did not want to be soldiers, many were against the war and yet all of them were forced to fight for their country. O’Brien writes about fear and courage in himself and in other Vietnam soldiers. The inner fear of exhibiting outward fear led to soldiers displaying great acts of courage while fighting in the Vietnam War.
Tim O’Brien grew up in an average American town in southern Minnesota. He was not very good at sports like football or baseball so he focused on reading Plato and Erich Fromm. He graduated high school and went off to college. He then graduated college, was drafted and the summer of 1968 is when Tim became a soldier. His friends from college would visit and say, “Too bad, I hear you’re drafted. What will you do?” (O’Brien, 17) The question of what will you do lived with Tim during his entire tour of Vietnam. “I’d never been much of a fighter. I was afraid of bullies: frustrated anger.” (O’Brien, 22) To an educated college graduate who was not used to fighting, the fear of going to Vietnam as a soldier was extreme. Tim had to make many decisions after being drafted. He had to figure out ways to contain his fear and display the courage of an American soldier.
The fear of being a soldier led to Tim thinking about fleeing the United States for Canada. Tim explains that the only reason he does not escape is for his family. “But I come from a small town, my parents know everyone, and I couldn’t hurt or embarrass them. And of course, I was afraid.” (O’Brien, 35) How could his family go on living in the United States if they had a son who left the country to avoid fighting in a war he was drafted to be apart of? Tim seemed to have a silent envy for his college friends who “found easy paths away from the problem, all to their credit. Deferments for this and that. Letters from doctors or chaplains.” (O’Brien, 21) Deep down Tim thought these letters to get out of going to war were an embarrassment for their families but also he knew they would never have to face the tough, unwanted road that was ahead of him. Tim’s courage to show up to the bus depot on August 13th is because he does not want to humiliate his family’s name. His fear of displaying his own fear and running away from the army is overshadowed by his fear of hurting his family. In the end it looks like Tim has great courage in going to help his country but in reality he was just too scared to show his true emotions.
At training camp, soldiers would sing, “I wanna go to Vietnam, Just to kill ol’ Charlie Cong. Am I right or wrong? Am I goin’ strong?” To mask the nerves and the fear of going to war soldiers would sing to show false courage. Men look strong if they are marching to an optimistic war tune. No man wanted to display fear to another man going through the same events so everybody would sing along. The outer appearance of all the men getting ready for war may have looked calm but in reality they were all just hiding their inner fears about going to Vietnam.
When O’Brien arrived in Vietnam to begin his tour of duty, the Sergeant explained that there were safe desk jobs for those who were interested. “I got jobs for mechanics, typists, clerks, damn near anything you want, I got it. So you get your nice, safe rear job.” (O’Brien, 72) Not one solider budged and said that they would give up fighting for the desk job. Every man knew that taking a desk job would look weak to others. It would expose the fear that each solider felt in their heads but would not show to those around them. They all knew that a desk job would be an easy way out of serving their country and still not one man motioned that he would take it. Tim, an educated college graduate who was clearly against fighting would not even take the job at this point. He knew the embarrassment he would feel if he showed the other men that he was scared. All of these men seemed as if they were displaying courage but they were just more afraid to display what they were really feeling.
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